thankful...

robbie.

my baby brother...

pain in the arse...

annoying...

stubborn...

crybaby...

pain in the arse...

tough...

goofy...

smart...

pain in the arse...

sweet...

caring...

brilliant...

pain in the arse...

talented...

patient...

great dad...

pain in the arse...

awesome.

he's my little baby brother...
(he was cute when he was little, i kinda liked him then) 

nowadays, he may have about 6 inches on me in height ...

but there was a day when that was not the case.

the days when i took advantage of being the big sister...

the days when i would beat him up just because i could.

he was SO annoying.
(don't think he didn't hit back, because he did...
he probably started it most of the time too =])

i ignored the comments from my parents...

"some day, he'll be taller than you...bigger than you...

& he'll remember these things."

it didn't stop me.

i didn't much care for him as a kid.

i loved him, but i didn't often tell him so.

it took several years.

& i do mean several.

then one day...we were just damn near inseparable.

daily visits & talking...

i don't know what i'd do without him.

there was a (too long) period of time

when i was basically without him...

i missed him everyday, but we didn't talk for about 4 years.

& that sucked.

BAD.

my heart ached all the time 

& the lack of his presence in my life affected my daily living.

okay, so we're both stubborn.

incredibly so.

but last october, 

i got to see my brother for the first time in 4 years...

it was almost like no time had passed.

the biggest difference being that he was now a dad to two.

i hadn't seen my nephew since he was weeks old...

& i got to meet my niece for the first time.

my heart exploded with love & joy & comfort.

it was at this exact moment that i realized

just how damn much i had missed him.

i knew i had missed him...

but it hit home just how badly i had missed him

when i hugged him.

i ADORE my baby brother...

& i love him more than i can find words to express.

(though he's still a pain in the arse...)

yesterday he had surgery...

 (heller myotomy)

i won't go into details, as that's a huge 17 year story in itself...

but, i was a mess ALL damn day.

the time difference between here & california didn't help.

(i was up and worrying before he ever got out of bed to leave for the hospital)

after a couple of hours longer than was originally thought,

the surgery was done and the doctor said things looked good.

(thank goodness for my mom's phone call)

i can't wait for him to heal & experience life

in a way that people take advantage of everyday 

without thinking twice about it. 

like i said, i don't know what i'd do without him.

i love the hell out of him.

he's my baby brother.

xox.